Get a Laugh, Got a Laugh> Post It....

[beaverpond]

The one with the two ladies just cracks me up.

[HiddenHollow]

Hey Beaver - got snow? Bomb Cyclone.

[jsw14]

Here's one more for ya Beave.

At The Pharmacy:

Arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife, tearfully she explained, “It’s the Pharmacist, he was very rude to me this morning. I had to call and call before he would even answer the phone.”

Immediately the husband drove downtown to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology.

Before he could say more than a word or two, the Pharmacist told him, “Now, just a minute, listen to my side, this morning the alarm failed to go off, I was late getting up, went without breakfast, hurried out to the car, realized I had locked the house with both house and car keys inside, had to break a window to get my keys.”

“Driving a little too fast, received a speeding ticket, then when 4 blocks from the shop, had a flat tire.”

“When finally arriving at the drug store, a lot of people were waiting for me. I opened the shop, started waiting on customers, and all that time, phone was constantly ringing.”

“Had to open a bag of coins for the cash register drawer to make change, they spilled all over the floor, got down on my hands and knees to pick up the coins, the phone was still ringing. When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a display case with perfume bottles on it, half of them hit the floor and broke.”

“Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing, I finally got back to answer it, it was your wife, she wanted to know how to use the rectal thermometer she bought."

"Believe me mister, with God as my witness, all I did was tell her.”

[HiddenHollow]

Bob left work one Friday evening. But it was payday, so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with his mates and spending his entire wages.

When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and said to him, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"

He replied, "That would be fine with me."

Monday went by and he didn't see his wife.

Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.

But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

[jsw14]

Blonde Mow'in The Grass:


I was try'in to mow the lawn before my husband got home from work, but our electric lawn mower refused to cooperate. It would run fine for a few seconds, then cut off, run again, cut off. Finally, I gave up & waited for my husband too get home.

He had a good laugh when he diagnosed the problem. Instead of plugg'in in the mower using a three-prong adapter, I had hooked up the cord through the outside Christmas light's with all the blinker's on.....

[HiddenHollow]

Maybe this would have helped.

Blinker Fluid

Blinker.jpg (34.08 KiB) Viewed 1838 times

[jsw14]

I'll get some of that stuff & soak my Xmas light's in it for next year....

[beaverpond]

[jsw14]

FISHING:

An 86 year-old man is out fishing. He was sitting in his boat when he heard a voice say,

"Pick me up!"

He looked around and did not see any one. He thought he was dreaming until he heard the voice again.

"Pick me up." The old man looked in the water and there, floating on a lilly pad was a frog.

The man said, "Are you talking to me?"

The frog replied, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up. Then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have
ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because you will have me as your bride."

The man looked at the frog for a minute in confusion, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front pocket.

The frog screamed, "What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said?? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride!"

He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said,

"Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog."

[jsw14]

The Villages Driving Manual: