Get a Laugh, Got a Laugh> Post It....

[alenigma]

An aspiring cattleman had a stud bull delivered to service his cows and as the truck was leaving, his pastor showed-up.
He told his son to observe what was occurring and inform him of how things were progressing.
An hour later, the youth rushed into the house and said, "the bull just ####ed the brown cow!"
The father pulled the son aside and told him that the visiting Pastor didn't need to be subjected to that kind of outburst. "Let me know when the bull has "surprised" the spotted cow"
About an hour later the youth dashed into the house saying Daddy, Daddy...
The father wisely interrupted, saying, "I suppose the bull surprised the spotted cow."
To which the youth replied, " He shore did. He ####ed the brown cow again"....

[jsw14]

Jack Daniels Fish'in Story:

I went fishing this morning, but after a short time I ran out of worms.

Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in its mouth.

Frogs are good bass bait.

Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in its mouth, I grabbed it right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket.

Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. So I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth. its eyes rolled back and it went limp.

I released the snake into the lake without incident and carried on fishing, using the frog.

Not long after, I felt a nudge on my foot. It was that damn snake... with two more frogs.

[HiddenHollow]

Jack Daniels Fish'in Story:

I went fishing this morning, but after a short time I ran out of worms.

Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in its mouth.

Frogs are good bass bait.

Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in its mouth, I grabbed it right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket.

Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. So I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth. its eyes rolled back and it went limp.

I released the snake into the lake without incident and carried on fishing, using the frog.

Not long after, I felt a nudge on my foot. It was that damn snake... with two more frogs.

[alenigma]

J, I think that's an old Justin Wilson bit. Still funny after all these years!

[jsw14]

A guy wins*a free ticket to the Super Bowl. He's very excited.

However, when he gets there he realizes his seat's in the back of the stadium. So he looks around for a better seat, and, to his surprise he finds an empty seat right next to the field. He approaches the older guy who's sitting in the seat next to the empty one*and asks if the seat is taken.

The man replies, "No."

The young guy is very surprised to hear this and asks, "How could someone pass up a seat like this?"

The older guy replies, "It's my wife's seat. We've been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she's passed away."

"Oh, how sad," the young guy says, taken aback. "I'm sorry to hear that, but couldn't you find a friend or relative to come with you?"

"No," the man replies, "They're all at the funeral."

[beaverpond]

My daughter is not impressed with that joke

[HiddenHollow]

Because........?

Different people have different priorities.

[HiddenHollow]

It was a sunny morning, a little before 8:00 a.m. on the first hole of a busy course, and Tom was beginning his pre-shot routine visualizing the upcoming shot when a piercing voice came over the clubhouse loudspeaker.
“Would the gentleman on the women’s tee back up to the men’s tee, please.”
Tom could feel every eye on the course looking at him. Still deep in his routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption, Tom continued, waggling his club and looking down his target line.
Again the voice came, “Would the man on the women’s tee back up to the men’s tee, please!”
Tom simply ignored the guy and kept concentrating, when once more the man yelled, emphatically, “Would the man on the women’s tee back up to the men’s tee, please!”
Tom finally stopped, turned, cupped his hands and shouted back.
“Would the jerk with the microphone kindly keep quiet and let me play my second shot!”

[jsw14]

My daughter is not impressed with that joke

It wasn't meant for UR Daughter Beave. Keep her under Lock & Key then....

[jsw14]

Just Say'in.....

Every night we go to bed,
without any assurance of being alive the next morning
but still we set the alarms to wake up.

That's HOPE...