Get a Laugh, Got a Laugh> Post It....

[jsw14]

A lady went to the liquor store yesterday afternoon on my bicycle, bought a bottle of Scotch, and put it in the bicycle basket.

As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break. So I drank all the Scotch before I cycled home.

It turned out to be a very good decision because I fell off my bicycle seven times on the way home.

[HiddenHollow]

My attractive female neighbor is completely paranoid.

She thinks I'm following or even stalking her, she is worried that I may be obsessed with her and any time she hears a noise in her house she is...purified? Oh, wait: petrified. Sorry, it's not easy reading a diary through binoculars from a tree.

[beaverpond]

Oh my gosh, I just shared this with my friends on Facebook

[HiddenHollow]

Oh my gosh, I just shared this with my friends on Facebook

[beaverpond]

Many happy people this morning

[HiddenHollow]

FireAlarm.jpg (54.33 KiB) Viewed 1879 times

[alenigma]

Ahh, yes! These ain't got no batteries so they won't go to beeping in the middle of the night!!!

[HiddenHollow]

A confused little child went to her mother and asked "Mommy, where did I come from."

The mother lovingly said that according to the bible, we all come from Adam and Eve.

Still confused, the little girl went to her father, "Daddy, where did I come from."

The father decided to explain evolution and said we all evolved from apes.

Still confused, the tike went to her mother and said, "Mommy, you said we came from Adam and Eve. Daddy just told me we evolved from apes."

"Your father was talking about his side of the family," the mother said.

[HiddenHollow]

A husband and wife were grocery shopping when the husband picked up a case of Budweiser and placed it in the cart. "What do you think you're doing?" asked the wife.

"It's on sale. Only $10 for a case," he replies.

"We can't afford it. Put it back," demands the wife. They continue shopping and a few minutes later the wife puts a $20 jar of face cream into the cart.

"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband.

"It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife.

"So does the Budweiser and it's half the price," retorts the husband

[beaverpond]

A firefighter was working on the engine outside the station when he noticed a little girl in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side and a garden hose tightly coiled inside.

The girl was wearing a firefighters helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog and cat.

The firefighter walked over to take a closer look. “That sure is a nice fire truck”, the firefighter said with admiration.

“Thanks”, the girl replied.

The firefighter looked a little closer and noticed the little girl had tied the wagon to the dog’s collar and the cat’s testicles.

“Little partner”, the firefighter said, “I don’t want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you tie that rope to the cat’s collar, I think you might go faster.”

The little girl replied thoughtfully, “you’re probably right, but then I would not have a siren.”