Get a Laugh, Got a Laugh> Post It....

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HiddenHollow
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Re: Get a Laugh, Got a Laugh> Post It....

Post by HiddenHollow » Thu Feb 01, 2018 9:39 am

CDC ALERT!

The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically!

This virus is called Weary Overload Recreational Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues or anyone else via any means whatsoever - DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely.

If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises. Take two good friends to the nearest grocery store and purchase one or both of the antidotes - Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE) and Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.
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Re: Get a Laugh, Got a Laugh> Post It....

Post by HiddenHollow » Thu Feb 01, 2018 9:42 am

The population of this country is 300 million.

160 million are retired.

That leaves 140 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school.

Which leaves 55 million to do the work.

Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government.

Leaving 15 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with North Korea.

Which leaves 12.2 million to do the work.

Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city Governments.

And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.

Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.

That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and me.

And there you are,

Sitting on your ass,

At your computer, reading jokes.

Nice. Real nice.
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Re: Get a Laugh, Got a Laugh> Post It....

Post by jsw14 » Thu Feb 01, 2018 10:11 am

But 300 Million people Still Pay Tax's when they go out & Buy Food, Close, & all the good's they need.... :s_biggrin
BS & Brilliance only come with Age & Experience!!

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Re: Get a Laugh, Got a Laugh> Post It....

Post by alenigma » Thu Feb 01, 2018 9:08 pm

You do mean clothes rite? :toast:
"Life Is A Conundrum" - The Riddler. :mrgreen:

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Re: Get a Laugh, Got a Laugh> Post It....

Post by HiddenHollow » Mon Feb 05, 2018 11:44 am

After a tiring day, Emily settled down in a seat on her train and closed her eyes. As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice.

“Hi sweetheart. It’s Gavin. I’m on the train.

“Yes, I know it’s the 6:30 and not the 4:30, but I had a long meeting.

“No, honey, not with that blonde from the accounts office. It was with the boss.

“No sweetheart, you’re the only one in my life.

“Yes, I promise, cross my heart.”

Fifteen minutes later, he was still talking loudly. When Emily, exasperated, had had enough, she leaned over and said into the phone, “Gavin, hang up the phone and come back to bed.”

Red-faced and absolutely shocked, he shut off his phone and didn’t say a single word for the rest of the train ride.

Gavin doesn’t use his cell phone in public any longer. And Emily finally got some well-deserved shut-eye.
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Re: Get a Laugh, Got a Laugh> Post It....

Post by beaverpond » Mon Feb 05, 2018 11:48 am

Oh my gosh, I love it
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Re: Get a Laugh, Got a Laugh> Post It....

Post by alenigma » Mon Feb 05, 2018 9:24 pm

I despise loud cellphone talkers. When they would walk-up to my Order entry station, I would point them to the end of the line unless they terminated their conversation.
"Life Is A Conundrum" - The Riddler. :mrgreen:

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Re: Get a Laugh, Got a Laugh> Post It....

Post by beaverpond » Mon Feb 05, 2018 9:45 pm

Where I worked I put in cellphone blockers, you came to our store to do business not spend it on the phone when trying to cash out...It was a convenience store.

Before the blocker was installed I tried to get one customer to either hang up her phone or step aside. She refused to do either. So I asked for the next customer in line behind her. She got quite irritated and asked to speak to the shift supervisor. I stepped into the office to speak with the heating oil office clerk who played along. I said there is a lady out here who would like to speak to the shift supervisor and she said fine. I then walked out and said I am running the show today. How may I help you. She said she would like to speak with the manager then. So I walked back into the office again and did an about face and said I am the location manager. How may I help you. She then said, I would like the name of your supervisor. I said allow me to get you his business card. So I handed her my business card as Assistant Territory Manager. She was some pi$$ed off at this point as it was my name and phone number on the card. Several of the customers in the store knew me and my rank in the company and knew where this was going and knew I oversaw 10 stores in our region of the state. Yup, I was a lot of fun to deal with back in the day.
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Re: Get a Laugh, Got a Laugh> Post It....

Post by HiddenHollow » Tue Feb 06, 2018 11:03 am

You're about the same amount of fun to deal with today. :s_biggrin :s_tongue :s_laughat
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Re: Get a Laugh, Got a Laugh> Post It....

Post by beaverpond » Tue Feb 06, 2018 12:23 pm

The boss I had back then was great. How many boss' did you have where you could go out behind the building have a hollering match at each other and 24 hours later it was like it never happened. However, try to talk to me before that 24 hours is up and you get what you have coming. One day only about 12 hours had gone by and he had shown back up again and I looked him straight in the eye and said to him "What the he!! do you want" and he said "apparently we have not cooled down yet" and I never saw him again for a week. When I did see him, he says to one of my employees, how is the temperature in here. "oh he is fine today because you are not the one he is irritated with, it is a different boss" He says "oh good, as long as it is not me this time"

I mean think about it...how many of us can scream, holler, yell, and tell off our boss off and get away with it...be willing to bet, not many of us. I worked there for ten years.
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